i deleted my tumblr a while ago but i used to talk to you and nick, you were the fairytale couple that i so badly wanted to be like, i hope whatever happened between you can be fixed because 5 months ago you were stronger than bricks. im sobbing writing this because you two were so perfect and i'm gonna miss you two being together. i hope you're okay and just remember whatever happened it wasn't your fault, i love you xx
:( i love you too
i think this is such a good idea and a good way to put self harm awareness out there, and make the people who have self harmed realise that there are people out there who care and who are there to support them.
i know this blog isn’t exactly for personal things such as this, although i don’t even come on here anymore. i just have no where else to let all this out, and i’m not doing this for attention, attention is the last thing i want, i just can’t hold this in any longer. i’m not okay, and i haven’t been okay for a long time, i thought i was but i can’t lie to myself anymore, nothing is okay in my life. all i want to do is sleep all the time so i can get away from reality, because living and breathing each day is just pulling me down, and i don’t know how much longer i can last. for me, when i started tumblr a few years ago it was amazing, it was my way of forgetting about my problems, i made so many amazing friends from all over the world, and even an amazingly perfect boyfriend who made me nothing but happy for over a year. then things started to go downhill, i made mistakes, i made so many damn mistakes and i know i can’t take them back. and now a lot of the amazing friends i made don’t like me anymore.. and the amazing boyfriend i had is.. well.. gone, and the worst part of it all is i know it’s my fault, i know all of these bad things have happened in my life because of my stupid mistakes, and that’s what hurts the most. i don’t know when i started hating myself, all i know is i can’t remember ever liking myself, or being happy with who i am, and through this string of unfortunate events i’ve realised: i am a bad person. i don’t deserve to be happy, i don’t deserve someone amazing to love me and care about me and be mine, i don’t deserve beautiful friends from all around the world, i don’t deserve anything but misery, and the only person i can blame for that is myself. my heart has been ripped to pieces, thrown in the dirt and stomped on, and i don’t know where i go from here but i know that wherever i go it will be alone. i don’t feel sorry for myself, i deserve this, i deserve all the bad things that have happened to me, i’m a bad person.
